"They say people aren't buying anymore. They are! They're buying these!" Mom, trying to help me find a black long sweater that's sold out everywhere.

"I got to the point where they were drunk and I wasn't, so it wasn't as much fun anymore." A friend, at a party.

"Cheesy garlic bread. Mmmmmmm... Can you hear?" Niffie, cruelly eating my favorite food at a restaurant I love.

"I want to cut off my head and throw it our the window." Loeby

"Nancy and I were, well, drinking of course." Daniel, starting a story.

"Lisa's our giggle box and laughing track." Daniel, about Loeby.

"Maybe you're an alien and your body chemistry doesn't react well to alcohol." Daniel, to Loeby.

"I've been in third world bathrooms that were cleaner than that." Loeby, on a very sketchy bathroom in SF.

"You're much more important to me than all of this crap!" Daniel, on talking to me vs. getting ready to leave on his trip.

"Oh, you're one of the lucky ones that's still working." The guy at a Japanese restaurant I went to for lunch one day.

"My cell phone's about to die. I'm going to go out and find a pay phone. Give me a couple of minutes." James, going beyond the call of friend duty when I need him.

"Hold on, I have to smell the car real quick." Stephanie, on her friend's new car.

"I was just checking if there was something in my room." Me, on the phone with my mom.
"Yes, there is." Mom, not even knowing what the something I was asking about was.

"We should probably eat after practice, so I won't be too fat to hold my guitar." Klemmster

"Thanks. Now I can help stimulate the economy." Jose, on the Ikea gift certificate we got him for his birthday.

"Pay more attention. My charms are subtle." James

"The drugs are really nice." Christie B., on getting your wisdom teeth out.

"How was your first day at work?" Me, asking my sister about her job at a day care taking care of babies.
"It was kind of a nightmare, actually."Niff

"I don't mean to be insensitive, but I have to eat."  Dad, on going out to eat on September 11th.

"I have to use the protector." Dad, on measuring a triangle.

"Okay, I'm going to a birthday party at a bowling alley now." Niff

"Holy cow! It's time to reduce!" Dad, when I told him how much I weigh.

"These things are as cool as the pencil boxes from elementary school." Eric, on the hidden Yahoo! Messenger smileys.

"Hey, hurry up! Too slow–65!!!" Grandpa, while I was pushing him in his wheelchair.

"I'm gonna just ignore it and pretend that I'm 25 for the rest of my days." Klemm