"Thanks for getting these - we'll have fun - going bananas!" Hope on us getting concert tickets to see Gwen Stefani.
	"Kell got drunk and called the next day to say that taking care of a baby while hungover is no fun!" Steph, on babysitting Kelly's baby the night before to let the parents have a night out.
	"I'll definitely be there too. I am on a mission to make 6 straight!" Steph, on dance class.
	"You going to Coldplay right? But you're too sweet and have seats." Me "Of course. I don't sit with the riff-raff." Yed
	"Ms. Kosol, Our staff at Hanttula Hotels has been alerted to your special dietary restrictions." Daniel's official follow up before visit note.
	"We can go for 2 hour lunches..." Us to our boss about when he's out on vacation "We already go for 2 hour lunches every day!" Tony
	"It seems that baconwhores.com now redirects to baconrobots.com ... Very interesting...." David K
	"See you in 60 hours!!!!" Daniel, to me.
	"Count me in too :) Of course I have to be there surely." Kishore's reply for his welcome back event evite.
	"Without going much further into it, I'd like to know more about actually suing people." James, on work.
	"They want me to be the godfather - I don't even know what that is!!! I never had a godfather." James, on his sister's request.
	"Like, when you think about the randomness (and sorta scariness) of life..." James
	"I won't go in to more examples of how life can take control away from you in scary, extreme ways, except to tell you about my irrational fear that in Hong Kong I could be killed by a falling air conditioner." James
	"I'm organizing a bachelor party. Do you and three of your friends want to make some money?" Payless Eric "You can't afford me." My response "God, don't I know that." His response
	"38 1/2 until Eve arrives." Daniel, changing his status when I saw it was old from the night before.
	"So last night I pulled an Eve. Aaron said something so stupid I wrote it down." Nicki
	"Are you going to use the computer?" Me "I was, but then this box came up and I don't know what to do so I'm not." Mom, on Yahoo IM starting up.
	"I'm melancholy." James "Me too. Maybe it's spreading." Me "We better stop before we contaminate more people." James
	"Do they do the atkins diet there?" Me "No. Probably because the main thing is the rice thing. And the noodles..." James, in Hong Kong.
	"I've really had a loss of amusement points comin' outta my mouth!" Nicki, on not being quoted much.
	"I've decided I'm gonna yuppie-ize my house." Payless Eric
	"Sunday's actually up for debate. We're going to give you some choices depending on how we feel! (Hungover or not)" Daniel, on my upcoming visit. (OMG Daniel, I mistyped it as upcoking visit–too funny!)
	"Yeah, I want to go back to myself now." Dan, on changing back his IM pic.
	"I was always taught to compete in a gentlemanly fashion, to be a bigger man and never trash talk, but I realize that some people feel the need to sling some smack." Survivor Tim on setting up a forum.
	"I'm getting excited now. (Waitin for you to take that your Dan way.)" Me "Sorry, I was typing a cutsey song.... Couldn't be dirty and sweet at the same time." Daniel
	"Thanks for reconnecting with me to arrange the 'handoff'(a little football lingo to keep me in the spirit)." Rick, selling me Niner tickets.
	"Have fun in Oklahoma! Oklahoma is OK!" Mers
	"When are you guys getting married?" On, on planning his wedding. "I don't know–there are a few steps to go before then!" Me "Don't wait too long, I'm sure you'll have really really cute babies." On
	"He's soft all over, he's like covered in cheeks." Onray on his newborn nephew.
	"I want 3 .. she refuses to have more than 2 so I'll have to borrow one from somewhere." Onray, on having kids.
	"I hope I have good looking kids. They don't have to be all that smart. Good looking people get ahead in life... I can raise them to be nice, I can raise them to be healthy .. but I can't raise them to be good looking." On
	"We're gonna get drunk and get you blogging." Daniel, to Kuldip
	"I have so many stories–this dating is an adventure. You're lucky you found someone." Kuldip
	"I was dating too many people–it was getting stressful." Kuldip
	"I'm actually trying to get out of dating multiple girls at one time." Kuldip
	"I told Kuldip this weekend is like Sandals." Dan, on me offering to pay for lunch. "Couples only?" My response to his Sandals reference.
	"Let me put it in party mode. Then you can take a pic." Daniel, on his house.
	"Women like that are a lifetime of pain." Daniel's response to one of Kuldip's dating stories.
	"When I was younger I used to ride my bike there. I watched all the old guys pick up on the hoochies but boy did I like the pizza." Daniel, on the boardwalk.
	"Am I missing something here?" Kuldip, putting together a mister fan. "There are so many things I could say right now." Daniel
	"You have to open your presents before the party. They're small though." Me, to Daniel "Aww that's ok. It's nice that you were thinking of me." Daniel "If all I have to do is think of you and I get credit for that I'm good." Me "Quote yourself on that–that was cute." Daniel
	"I'd do without food before I'd do without air." Nancy, on air conditioning.
	"They'll be a lot of smack talk. I'll make a lot of mom jokes–it'll be a lot of fun." Daniel, on his upcoming birthday poker party.
	"Just think of dice on steroids." Daniel, on playing poker.
	"Please don't lose those–we haven't even started drinking yet." Dan, on my quotes.
	"If you don't drink, the terrorists win." Daniel
	"You're goin down Dan!" Kuldip, playing a video game. "That's what your mom said to me." Daniel
	"Drink and drive–it's ok. This is the only time I'll make an exception." Daniel, on Kuldip playing a driving game.
	"Please don't sue me–I like my Coke stuff." Daniel, on Tony falling out and breaking his Coke hammock.
	"I'm just the Coke dealer. I've been waiting all night to say that." Daniel
	"That's ok. I'll be so drunk I won't know I'm the dealer." Daniel's prediction.
	"It's a little early for chocolate cake." Me, around 8pm "It's past noon!" Daniel, the drink pusher.
	"It's those eyelashes again." Kuldip, on Cindy distracting him with her silver sparkly lashes.
	"Pre-flop excitement." Jack (aka Kevin)
	"I had 5s." Cindy, thinking she won the pot. "Pair of Jacks." Daniel, noting my winning hand.
	"Poker central." Dan answering the phone during his party.
	"I'm drinking a bitch beer." Daniel
	"If you put that on your web page, I'll sue." Daniel, to me. I wish I remembered what that was. Hee
	"I want to be on ESPN so I gotta talk it up." Dan and his poker commentary.
	"Honey he's one of ours." Daniel, to Nancy on Steven being 35.
	"I should be a commentator. Dude I may not be able to play poker but I can talk about it." Daniel
	"What do you guys have?" Dealer Dan after the last card was revealed "Ace high." Toby "King high." Steven
	"I do appreciate the beer in front of the high chair--it's a nice touch." Toby
	"Don't hate me people, hate the cards." Dealer Dan
	"It's 11, I guess I can do vodka." Kuldip quoted me.
	"Not gonna happen. Especially you wearing margaritaville on your shoulder." Cindy, dissin Dan.
	"I put my nuts on the table–the only way to play." Scotty, going all in on the first hand.
	"Your house is amazing." Toby "There's so much to look at." Sarah "Wait until I flip the button and it all turns to porn." Dan "Yeay!" Everyone's enthusiastic reaction.
	"You don't have any limes do you?" Steven "Yeah, they're right behind you." Daniel "I should have asked three beers ago." Steven, drinking Coronas.
	"That's ok–you can clear that up in the editing process." Daniel, on my spelling of his friend's names.
	"I raise a god bless you." Kevin's response to my sneeze.
	"You guys are retards and I'm like a ninja of poker." Daniel, on computing side pots.
	"You're all going down like bitches now." Daniel, joining the game.
	"All I need is a spade and you're my bitch."Daniel, to Steven. "Apparently I'm your bitch." Daniel's response after all the cards were revealed. "Those aces came back to bite you." Steven, to Daniel, referring to earlier when Dan had to re-deal after showing a card. Steven had a pair of aces.
	"What are you drinking?" Me "What are you drinking?" Daniel's challenging response "Straight vodka. Some of us don't need to drink bitch beers." Me "Want a shot?" Daniel, trying to test me. "Alright." Me, up to the challenge.
	"Why don't you hate on college kids more?" Sarah "I would if I could gun them down." Daniel's comeback.
	"What goes together: cheese and crackers..." Sarah "Chocolate and porn." Sarah and Eve
	"Ok you guys stop whipping it out and play some poker." Daniel
	"We're just trying to get some action here." Toby
	"She uses me for my ability to bring her alcohol and I use her for her ability to make me cool." Sarah, on roommate Audrey.
	"I would like to censor the last two seconds." Daniel
	"You're the center of the split universe tonight." Steven, to me, on splitting a few pots.
	"I would never take another girl to our restaurant." Kuldip, to me.
	"When you're playing 12 hours you appreciate the air conditioning." Nancy, on the Xbox controller. "12 hours?!" My response "Yeah, that's before we had kids." Nancy
	"It's a psuedo laugh can't decide if I want to cry laugh." Nancy, on Saylor's noises.
	"They're pretty much mostly Daniel." Me, reviewing the quotes from the weekend. "Yeah I'm pretty quotable." Modest Daniel
	"Dude luggage service. Dan, you gotta come home with me." Kuldip, on Dan taking him to the airport.
	"Everything is tricked out in Danny boy's life." Kuldip's observation
	"I seriously think this should be burned." Me, on the disposable video camera. "At least those last 10 minutes." Kuldip
	"I don't want to double up any of the exciting times." Me, on a wedding.
	"Right away. I hate that cause I don't believe in it." Daniel, on when he knew about Nancy being the one for him.
	"We have to have a quote free moment for a few minutes here." Daniel, prefacing something he wanted to share with me.
	"This place is cool–it's a bar and has Wi-Fi. I love a bar wth Wi-Fi–it's awesome." Daniel, being my tour guide around Norman, OK.
	"Oh no. Is the steel trap at work?" Dan, on capturing quotes in my head.
	"It's like a tradition. I got to buy him his new game consoles." Nancy, on the upcoming new Xbox.
	"You might as well be a dang flight attendant." Nancy, on my travel schedule.
	"Next time bring your man and we'll upgrade you to the jungle room." Nancy, to me.
	"I'm just thinking of you cause I did some serious damage on my credit card... So from one shopper to another I wanted to let you know I helped out the economy today." Stephers
	"So many heads. You want my head?" Mom, to giving grandma our shrimp heads.
	"How do you feel?" Me, to Dad. "Why, is he sick?" Suphoj "No, he's 60!" My response
	"I suddenly got hungry for some onion rings." Mom, at 11:30pm "Have some blueberry pie instead." Dad
	"What's a proud pappa icon?" Bob on IM.
	"Yeah for poker and cute babies! Usually those two things don't go together in a sentence." Mers
	"I felt a bit guilty (and happy) at the same time." Steph, on her massive shopping spree.
	"Not only does she need to work on them, she need to perform an expedition to locate some." Friend, ranting about another's lack of skills.
	"She's the queen of projection, and hopefully I'm not projecting my tendency to project upon her." One of my friends about someone in their life.
	"smg? cdt?" Me, questioning Dad's texts. "Nothing meaningful, just on top of my egghead." His response
	"I LOVE MY VAIO. So light!" Dad, excited about his birthday gift. "Hahhaha glad you like it. So small." Me "My eyes are getting tiny toooo... eye balls." Dad "Well I'm glad you like it. Smally." Me "Yes, I will call it Smally then." Dad
	"I've eaten ants before–they're kind of peppery." Sylvia, in response to me finding a bug in my salad.
	"I need someone to grab the reigns on my brain it appears." Nicki
	"You need to update your quotes right away. I think you should take off work tomorrow and update your quotes page." Anxious Daniel
	"Mike Hanttula gold is hidden and it should be highlighted." Dan's bro on his prior quote.
	"Leave that in the hands of the masters–amateurs should not be using your mom jokes." Mike Hanttula.
	"Looking forward to dinner. :D" Mark, trying to derail the subject cause he knew I was angry.
	"It will be fun to have a culture night with the gals. Let's hope I can stay up past 10 pm." Malty, on seeing Wicked in the city in a few weeks.
	"Tell James Happy Birthday for me next time you talk to him. I'll drink some fine alcohol in his honor tonight." Eric
	"I'm ready to stop being a gypsy." Kathi, on finding a place.
	"I'm going to go have my birthday lunch and check out a birthday book." James
	"My husband is not impressed with my behavior :-) But I had a damn good time." Steph, on being the life of the party drinking at a Thursday night work party.
	"Mostly you. You quote diva." Me, on the massive amounts of quotes from my OK weekend. "Wow, that's amazing. What can I say? I'm a quote whore!" Daniel
	"I want a big house, a dog, 2.5 kids..." Joanna, on potentially moving to Portland.
	"It's ok to ride the horse–you just need to know what type of horse it is." Eric C., on dating.
	"Sober karaoke suxs." Mike's text from being out where his friends signed him up for his karaoke performance.
	"I've been snacking like a woman." Dad
	"I couldn't off-load some of the parental pain." Daniel, on the problems when his brother leaves town before his parents do.
	"Oh my god, that first 15 minutes of the 2nd half changed my world!" Kimberly, on the Niner/Raiders game.
	"Boys are always lame and always will be, thus they will continue to upset us even if they are the best. It's part of their nature." Knowledgable Kimi
	"Keep my caffeine level a certain percentage of my blood stream..." Laurie, on getting an afternoon soda.
	"I should go exercise, or practice the piano, but who cares. I think I'll see a movie. My musical and fitness aspirations will still be here tomorrow." James
	"I want to see the dork. I'm not going to stop calling him a dork for a week now." Mom, joking about Mike. "Oh he's so sweet and kind–he could never be a dork. If you ever get mad at him just look at his picture." Mom's quick change of heart after looking at a photo of him.
	"Too bad the licorice is in the cooler." Gisela, stuck in traffic.
	"It's not even jumbo–it's just a tron." Guy behind us at the Niner game, about the new puny 3 million dollar screen.
	"Glad to hear you had fun. I heard you cheering on the T.V. audio." Rick, on me at the Raider's Niner game.
	"Boy, I am so happy that T.O. is now someone else's headache." Niner fan Rick
	"Wow looks like Daniel is going for the worlds records in Eve quotes! Makes me so proud!" Nicki
	"Hahaha I'm laughing from the e-mail Daniel sent....dirty boy! He is my male counterpart!" Micki
	"I LOVE THE QUOTE OF THE MOMENT!!! Man, that was pure genius on my part! Pure genius I tell ya!" Daniel, on my new signature theme.
	"You're receiving this E-mail because you've been immortalized on Eve's Web site. You might remember Eve from the Poker party a week ago (depending on how much you had to drink). Even if you don't, she remembers you. Check out your words of wisdom (or your guilty confessions)." Daniel's note to his friends.
	"Going for record number of emails to eve in a single day..." James' e-mail subject.
	"Don't worry. Between you, me and Kuldip, you are -by far- the most innocent on tape." Daniel, on his disposable video camera he had his birthday weekend.
	"Smoking isn't big in the healthcare industry." Hope
	"I think my hips are getting bigger." Me "Big butts are in." Mom "Mom said I have a big butt!" Me, offended. "I didn't say yours." Mom
	"I’m not sure how Tiff is doing with the PortaPotty situation. She doesn’t really seem to mind. She’s so rustic." Malty
	"The benny always rocks my world." Nicki, on last night's dinner at Benihana.
	"I just realized tonight's date night and I forgot so such a nice surprise memory I just had!" Wednesday Nicki
	"I have problem associating food with the animal. If I had to live on a fam and kill my own food I would become a vegetarian. Unless it was a chicken. I could snap a chicken's neck... Maybe I could club a fish..." Laurie
	"They need to make a pervert emoticon." Micki
	"Watch out Daniel–perverted Micki takes the lead in quotes for end of August." Micki
	"Lemme know if you don't get mine again... For some reason my SMSs and E-mails must not love you as much as I do!" Daniel
	"Dare me to be even nastier?" Micki, on her e-mail convo with Daniel. "I dare you. I wanna see how far you two kids can go. This is like a dirty wa–new sport." Me
	"This is fun. I don't get to do this often. Aren't you gonna? You're making the 3way tougher on the other players." Micki, on me observing her and Daniel go at it over e-mail.
	"Ok I just lept into a world of dementia." Nicki
	"That's one I won't even cover unless you promise me 100% work IM immunity." Daniel
	"Oh my god, Nicki is my missing twin!" Daniel
	"I'm a dirty moron." Me "Don't worry sweetheart, Micki and I will have you up to speed in 4-6 weeks with our new and improved 'Corruption Class.'" Daniel
	"Welcome to the dark side. We welcome you as a up and coming star!" Nicki, to me.
	"I'm distraught now." Me "Focus on the phone and you'll be happy." David, on my new fun skin.
	"Man what am I gonna do with no crazy Daniel emails today. Boring day." Nicki
	"FYI. Diaper changes and turbulence are a bad combo." Daddy Dice
	"What info do you want? Rule 1: no questions that require an essay!" Doodle, on me inquiring about his life details. 8-)
	"Don't know how well we'd get along in person. And I don't want to wreck the wonder twin thing we have going on." Nicki, on Daniel.
	"We'll have to get together. I'll give you more quotes." Bryan, after not seeing me for a long time.
	"I met a girl..." James e-mail subject. "I know, I know - it's a shocker. Me? Meet a girl? That NEVER happens!" First line of the e-mail
	"I met a girl who was both fascinating and loathsome." James' interesting description.
	"If you carry on about how great you are and how happy you are and how successful you are, then, well, maybe you really aren't so great, happy, or successful." James' observation.
	"I'm gonna pull a Dan later and watch kids after smut talking." Micki
	"Looks like I'm gonna head home here so I can be more chatty." Nicki, on site working.
	"I should have been from the South or some podunk country town. And I need a butt like Jessica Simpson. She is hot." Kimi, on seeing the Dukes of Hazard movie.
	"I had a dream last night that I told off the evil PM and now I feel better. I guess it is better to dream about it than really yell at him." LesliE
	"I bought a Coke Zero this weekend and find that it is the most acceptable zero-calorie soda that I have encountered. It still doesn't stack up to a traditional high-fructose-infused calorie-bomb soda, but hey, what does?" David
	"My brain works in mysterious ways sometimes." Nicki "Ha well I happen to love the mysterious ways of your brain." My response
	"I don't think we will die. Well not everyday I don't think it. More every other day." Nicki, on an upcoming adventurous trip.
	"I will have cast my evil spell into the dark side for which as we all know there is no coming back. My ways are addictive." Nicki
	"My X-box is about as fun as your web quotes!" Steven, winner of Daniel's OK birthday poker game.
	"I could just live off of steak, lettuce, and nuts. And apples with peanut butter." Dave
	"How was your weekend with Sir Mikes-a-lot? He's an 80's rap expert ya know." Doodle, on Mike's visit.
	"Maybe I'll get back to work . . . HA! Wow, that was funny. I'm just tired, maybe I'll rock my chair back and take nap." James
	"OK, you have to take five minutes and be girly and tell me the story." Me, to Boston Stacy on getting engaged!
	"I'm handling all the booze and flowers–I'm sticking with what I know." Loeby, on planning a bridal shower.
	"So how do you feel today 1st day being engaged lady?!" Me "Wicked spacy." Boston Stacy
	"But that would probably cross the line with you." Nicki, on ultraspice writing. "Ha my line is fuzzy lately" Me "Well as we know my lines are a curvy wave on non consistent dots." Nicki
	"Man I’m in the gutter rollin around with you two nuts.” Me, on e-mailing with Daniel and Micki. "Man I got the visual on that.” Micki
	"You’re like the quote queen lately my dear.” Me "Woohoo. I want to win the quote race. I was sooo behind.” Nicki
	“Man my mind is ruined lately.” Me “Yeah, it’s nice that you can blame that fact on your friends! I just make everyone else this way!" Daniel
	"It's just when you push your borders you feel weird. Then you grow accustomed to the dementia." Micki
	"My dream came true–a new Viggo movie is coming out." Nicki
	"My mother is finally getting her wish. Her geeky tomboy daughter is finally going to wear a dress and heels, and she is going to have to look like a lady while doing so." Boston Stacy, on getting engaged.
	"I'm a fatalist by nature... and I've seen so much f-ed up stuff... So I hope for the best, expect the worst." Single T, on relationships "I understand but I have renewed faith." Me "Awww. I have renewed partial season hockey tix. =)" SingleT
	"Hi 49er girl! In an airplane so had to text you :-)" Falcons girl
	"It's a co-ed bbq so there will be beef and beer...good ingredients for a Saturday!" Mers
	"I want a baby just for that bag." Corrine, on a present Cindy got at her baby shower.
	"I'm gonna be the most chic Mom. I can't wait to go to work." Cindy, on her trendy baby bag.
	"I want one. We could totally wear this if it was bigger." Cindy, on one of her baby's outfits.
	"All I have to do is push now." Cindy, after opening her baby shower presents.
	"I think I have driven with you and it was nice." Tiff, to Lisa.
	"We only have 1.2 miles of scary road now instead of 4." Tiff, on the location of her new mountainous house.
	"Oh thank God." Malty, when the waiter finally brought wine to our table.
	"If I told them I slept with the owner, would they give us better service?" Loeby
	"I was just calling to check that you and Mike weren't in New Orleans." Dice, during hurricane Katrina.
	"It's a 3 day weekend so you're probably going to Australia or something to use the extra travel day." Dice
	"Sorry you're not feeling great. Bat signal anytime." James' text
	"You're a Beanie Baby and your boyfriend is too." Silly Mom
	"We had a blast...although, I lost more money than I ever have before. I kept thinking that I had to win, but I just didn't." Steph, on being in Vegas.
	"I'm on a major caffeine roller coaster ride. That mocha I had at 8pm one night was a mistake of epic proportions." David
	"Is everything alright? You have no greeting..." Payless Eric on IM. Weird how odd things tip people off. "Not really." M "Wanna talk bout it? Or go out Wed. night?" His response
	"Where would we be without addictions?" David
	"I used to be a single soda a day guy." David "That's the gateway drug." Dave
	"Been way to stressed out and sad. I just wanna go to Disneyland." Me "Think of the ears you could be wearing!" Laurie
	"I'm sorry sorry. You can get drunk tomorrow if you want. I'll drive you around with ur head out the window." Nicki's offer to help. Hee
	"I ate greasy pizza right off of my shirt. That's how much I wanted to eat, I was sooo hung over." Payless Eric's response to how his friend's bachelor party was.
	"I tried to get the breakdancing going and I did the splits 3 times. the ladies couldn't get enough of me. Basically I'm a stud so pass it off to your friends." Eric C., on his behavior at his friend's wedding.
	"For your wedding I'm bringing tap shoes, so watch out!" Eric C.
	"My little net surfer girl. Man you're good! And here I just liked you because you're hot. Little did I know you're resourceful as well!" Daniel, on me finding him poker tournament info online.
	"Nice quotes by the way - I was reading them last night in bed as I was staying up late voting for Susie to be a rock star." Laurie
	"What happens at dance girl time stays at dance girl time :-)" Steph
	"Oh man, I'd do anything just to be in the August quotes right now. Must beat Nicki!!!!" Daniel

Also check out Past Quotes Index and if you are into music lyric snippets: Life Quotes

See nicknames for translations of some nicknames into actual names

Quotes last updated November 7, 2005

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