"Don't touch my ears. I don't want my little bones to break." Kevin, after learning about the hammer, anvil, and stirrup.

"I think that's the most full my refrigerator has ever been." Kevin, after we went grocery shopping together.

"Where do you work?" Ben's Mom.
"Well, I used to be a project manager at a web development company..." Me
"Oh, I apologize. I forget that I shouldn't ask that question nowadays." Ben's Mom.

"I just know how to drink it, I don't know how to spell it." Sherrie, on the kamikaze.

"It's like the same experience, but it's prolonged." Sherrie, on a kamikaze drink on the rocks vs. the shot.

"I'm racist against myself." Joe, on his white leg and dark arm.

"Kevin, go big or go home. If you think you're getting out of tapioca later, you're wrong." Malty

"It's not a bad gig." Nick, on being a bat.

"I don't know if you can call it windsurfing the first day–it was more like swimming." Kevin, on learning how to windsurf.

"You should touch them–they're really soft." Me, on Sophia's cheeks.
"Oooh yeah, those are nice!" Kevin

"I haven't seen so many pregnant people in a year here in California and I saw so many in just one week!" Tiffaney, on her visit to Utah.

"So you're an engineer and a lawyer–that's a really bad combination." Tiffaney, to James.

"She doesn't write down what I say any more–I've gotten less interesting." James

"I don't know much about lighting, but the lighting must have been good." Mom, on our dance recital.

"I think it'll get better and worse at the same time." James, on his job.

"I'm going to try and use my booty to lure more people in here." Eric, on dancing with his behind to the window at a bar we were at.

"Thanks! You guys are so nice. What is it?" Corie, on the present we go her for being our dance teacher.

"This is one of the only times in my life I'll get to be on a stage." Eric, dancing at a bar.

"That's statutory rape!" Corie, informing our dance class of the age of a 16 year old guy dancer.

"Eye shadow is fun." Kimi, while we were doing makeup for our show.

"Only if they have a democratic president, I'll come back in a few years. No Bush family members." Werner

"Those are cute shoes." Me, to Sanjay
"He's cute top to bottom." Kishore
"Don't put that one one, people will get the wrong idea about us." Sanjay

"It will pick up at the end of the year, people are saying." Sanjay, on the technology economy.
"It will pick up next week, I am saying. You said people are saying!" Kishore

"Strippers are the center of Western culture. Without them, everything would crumble." Werner

"You come to America and want to sue everyone!?" Me, to Kishore.
"I learned a lesson here." Kishore

"I like sad movies. They make you cry. I like to cry." Daddy (Kishore)

"You can frame him for a crime in California and then he can't leave." Ryan D., on me wanting Kevin to live in CA.

"I celebrated Father's Day. I got an ice cream cake." Tuan
"But you're not a father!" Me and Cheekers.
"I'm father to the cats." Tuan

"Is Tutu a good wife?" Me, to Tuan
"Yeah, she cooks for me." Tuan
"Are you a good husband?" Me, to Tuan
"Yeah, I cook for her." Tuan

"Don't lose mine–that's the my only chance of making it." Sanjay, when I said I hope I didn't lose my napkin full of quotes from the day.

"Can you just make up a quote and put my name on it? I want one before I leave Synapta." Sanjay
"That's a good one." Me, writing it down.

"You could join the March for Freedom party." Fuzz, to Werner knowing he's going back to Austria.
"Why?" Werner
"Well, freedom sounds good." Fuzz

"Just stay in your car–most accidents happen there and your car insurance would cover it." JohnCline

"Just don't go to the Philippines and get beheaded cause I don't think insurance would cover that." JohnCline

"I like it, but I can't get excited about it." Cheekers, on salad.

"We should have helped you by not getting hooked on pearl tea. It's an addiction and it's expensive." Cheekers

"Hey, you broke my bridge!!" Cheekers, while playing Chinese Checkers with Sherrie IE.
"Sorry..." Sherrie IE, a little scared.

"Sometimes I don't want any fluid–I just want a ball." Me, on bubble tea.

"You can jump twice?" Me, to Sherrie IE, on Chinese Checkers.
"No, I'm still jumping." Me, to Sherrie IE.

"Cause Wisconsin people know cheese." Ma, on Uncle Joe complaining about the quality of swiss cheese he got on his hamburger.

"There must be an angel in our house." Ma, on finding a match for my pink floopie on my recital costume.

"It actually gets kind of cool when you hear it every day for 10 days." Kevin, on the "Hands Up" Club Med song.

"It's something I would do if it weren't on the borderline of ethics. Then again, I am in sales." Kevin

"You're my ride partner for today." My six year old cousin Alex, at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk.

"I like knowing, but I don't like learning." Ryan Ca.

"It is depressing. It's like looking at my grades when I was a kid." Ryan Ca., on the stock market.

"I'm never gonna remember all these things. Clouds are boring." Ryan Ca., studying for his pilot's license.

"You can fly people around now?" Me, to Ryan Ca.
"No. Being able to take off and not land is kind of a problem." Ryan

"I had a $900 cell phone bill last month!!!" Lisa Loeb

"There's a reason to relocate." Aunt Kathy, on Krispy Kreme.

"Is she nice?" Aunt Kathy, about my dance teacher.
"Yes." Me
"Awwww crap. I was thinking she had to be mean or there had to be something wrong with her since she everything about her looks so perfect." Aunt Kathy.

"Do you know what day it is? I don't know what day it is. I'm having to turn my computer on now to find out." Unemployed Kevin.

"I went from tour guide to Ricky Martin." Denny, on his hair.

"I'm leaving, so hi-bye." Aton

"I don't like talking animals–they freak me out." Sherrie IE.

"These are Synapta people." Denny's girlfriend introducing a group of us sitting in one room to her friend at a gathering.

"I can't think while I'm working." Matt Y.

"How did I get beer on my butt?" Paolo

"Your hair is black and mine is dark brown." Me, to my dad.
"I want dark brown. I wanna be a wanna be you when I grow up." Dad

"Home ownership goes with hose ownership." Kevin

"I moved from my couch to the satellite chair." Kevin, on the popason.

"I was going to save this for your mom to give you on a rainy day, but it seems like the last few months have been pretty rainy for you, so you can have it now." My Aunt Kathy, on a Winnie-the-Pooh umbrella she bought for me.

"My uncle made a dozen eggs with cheese and a pound of bacon for himself and my two cousins." Me, to Kevin.
"Why didn't he just inject cholesterol into their blood?" Kevin

"Oh, no! I didn't know it was alcohol!" Dad, on Mike's Lemonade.
"What did you think when I asked why you wanted a night cap? Or why you wanted to make an alcoholic popsicle by putting it in the freezer?" Me
"I thought you were kidding! No wonder my head's spinning." Dad

"What's so good about it?" Me, to Dad, on chestnuts he brought home.
"It's Chinese." Dad

"Your grandma was telling everyone you have nice new plastic furniture." Uncle Joe, on what my Grandma from WI said about our Italian leather couches.

"We'll be here for another couple hours until people get motivated. Then we'll go see some dead ducks hanging in the window." Uncle Joe, to his kids about visiting China town in SF.

"Hello, Tortilla Woman here." The beginning of a message my sister left me.

"Oh no! I ran out of paint–right in the middle of the hallway!!! I knew I shouldn't have gotten tortilla!!!!!" Niff, on going for an off-white paint color.

"I pride myself on chocolate innovation." Jason C.

"Tutu and I are so married! We got married 3 times!" Tuan

"I'm not going to go up that high without a parachute." Kevin, on hot air ballooning.

"Can you see the little men walking on Mars with that?" My Grandma from WI, to my cousin with a telescope.

"I'm not afraid of heights–I'm afraid of falling from heights." Kevin

"You know, if you cut your sandwich diagonally, it makes it bigger." Kevin

"Hands up!" Obnoxious Club Med song.