"Those were good sound effects." Me, to one of Cheeks' friends when we were out for her bachlorette party.
"Those were pretty good dance moves tonight." Cheek's friend

"I'm gonna call you Poly Ester." Another one of Cheeks' friends after the night was over.

"You were quite the party animal tonight." One of Cheekers' friends on one of my super mellow nights out.

"Nick's got some whacked out toenails goin on here... wait til u c them. You'll b straight trippin boo." Kel, in a text message to me when she was hangin out with Nicki.

"You're either gettin married or doing karate." Me, to Cheeks' hand made napkin veil.

"You need to help me out." Cheekers, not able to finish her drink before we left for the next club.
"I'm there for you, sista." Me

"How do you like sex on the beach?" Me, to Cheekers on her bachlorette night.
"It's awesome!' Cheekers

"I was thinking of pulling an Eve right now and taking a shower." Kel, at 12:30am.

"I don't even care what time it is–I just get up and talk." Kelly, on me waking her up when I got back from the concert after midnight.

"The Downey family takin drugs again? Bye Robert!" Lisa, to Chris
"Bye Marshall!" Chris, to Lisa. Weird having my friends make up their own nicknames for each other.

"I discovered she's a lush like me!" Stacy, all excited about Lisa.

"That's why you just don't ever fall in love." Chris, commenting on the subject that somehow came up.
"Exactly. That's my plan." Me

"I've been drinkin–I'll swear for you!" Me, to Ryan who called during one of our nights out.

"Eve, seriously put a sock in it." Rodd, to me.
"Screw you!" Me, kicking Rodd.
"That was our first hug." Rodd, after hugging me. Weird how guys are!

"Fuck the drama!" Yed

"You're more likely to take a shot than get a hug from me." Yed, to me.

"Have another drink–you're just getting fun." Loeby, to me.

"Quit your talkin'." Rodd, to me.
"Whatever, Yapper." Me, to Rodd
"Hey! What's wrong with that?" Eric, all offended.

"What's that, water?" Guy at bar, to me.
"No, it's cider. It actually has more alcohol than beer." Me
"But you don't need that–you're friendly." Guy, to me.
"Well, I get friendlier." Me

"I'll let you know where we'll be for Coldplay. Maybe meet at a bar??" Kathi. Where else? ;-)

"I am so domesticated...except for now. I am sitting here typing in my boxers." Yed

"I've never seen anyone do that worse." Kel, on me trying to take the top cookie off of an Oreo.

"I like peanut butter, but I don't like them the way they're processed." Kel, on us choosing Oreo flavors to try.

"This one's comfy–the rest are crap." Kel, on offering me a choice of her PJs.

"Stickers are what they are." Kel

"You did a great job." Kel, to me on my paper mache starch flower I made in her first grade class one day.
"Don't use your first grade voice on me!" Me, to Kel.

"This is the last rip off stop." Mom, at Marine World where they have you exit the park through the gift shop.

"We could hit Palo Alto–sit outside and find some boys to buy us drinks? Leslie, on planning a mid-week girls night.

"I gotta be careful what I say around you, walking notetaker!" Nicki, being introduced to how the quoting works.

"This is so fun now that I know who some of the people are." Nicki, on reading the quotes.

"Man, I'm never leaving your house." Me, on playing with Mark's new TV and Direct TV.
"This may be a problem." Mark

"No, it's not football season yet. Unless you're a bloody Euro who thinks football means soccer. Then yes, it is football season. However, you won't find any 49ers on the field..." Dice's response to me anxiously awaiting the NFL season to start.

"Whatcha up to?" James, to me, at midnight.
"What do you think? Guess." Me
"Hmmm... I'm guessing photos?" James
"Close. I'm doing that next." Me
"Ummm. . . Memorial Day e-cards?" James

"I need a sugar intervention–I'm off the wagon." Ryan

"Do you have any side type items?" Ryan, still hungry after two steaks.

"God, I never hear you swear and you drop one on a freakin' steak?" Ryan, to me.
"Yeah, you don't know me lately. Eric's getting sick of it." Me
"Sick of it? I think it's adorable." Eric

"I don't drink anymore, but I don't drink any less!" Loeby

"I need to change into something more patriotic." Eric, before the US vs Wales soccer game.

"You wanna change into shorts? We're in shorts country I guess." My Uncle Joe from WI to his kids.

"Oh, is this the bacon family?" Eric, remembering the story about Uncle Joe and his two kids needing at least 2 lbs of bacon per morning.

"We pretty much eat 18 hours a day." My Uncle Joe about his family.

"They are a happy couple." Eric, about a few of his friends.
"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Me, basking in my bitterness of late.
"There will be no more bitter romance comments from the Peanut gallery." Eric
"Yeah, good luck–no chance of that." Me

"All of the sudden Yed now wants to hug me." Me, about Yed attacking me on the streets of San Francisco.

"London, I love London! Robert Smith lives there." Leslie, before showing off her Cure tattoo.

"You havin' fun Yedders?" Me
"I'm wasted." The old Yed's reply.

"Leslie, don't pour sangria all over Kathi!" Lucy, after she saw the aftermath on Kathi's white shirt.

"In the last couple minutes, Leslie's hit Rodd twice and kicked him once." Eric, while we were out in SF one night.

"It's like Shaggy says, it wasn't me." Yedders

"We've been sucked into the world of MTV. It's been an MTV weekend." Yed

"If it's sad or stupid, I have it." Nicki, on DVDs.

"Why would I eat fruit when I've got Cheetos?" Nicki

"Eve, wanna come flying with us?" Ryan
"No." Me, not a big fan of small planes.
"The plane has leather seats." Part of Ryan's convincing tactics.

"We got sassed by an old bartender." Eric, on being asked if he needed a straw with his beer in SF one night.

"Did you see how thick that rod was? No offense, Rodd." Mark, commenting on an episode of Jackass.

"Are you tryin' to get me fuckin' drunk?" Rodd, to Kyle, on playing a drinking game one night.
"What else you gonna do tonight?" Kyle

"I don't know as much as some people, but I know more than most people." Chris, on TV and Tivo info.

"Call and ask..." Mark, asking me to call Chris for TV info at the beginning of our four hour TV buying adventure at Good Guys.

"How come you have a crash story for every car you've driven?" Julie, to Ryan.

"Are you gonna get 1048 HD?" Ryan, to Mark on TVs.
"Yeah." Mark
"It's about time you stepped up." Ryan

"You are the travelling machine." James, to me, after I told him about my next trip to New York.

"I saw that in Vegas, it was on sale. It was almost free." Mom, on a shirt she saw at Macy's.

"Yesterday I had nothing but diet pepsi and almonds." Onray
"UGH. Evil beverage!!!!!!!!!" My response to that.
"Hey at 67 cents for 2 liters." Onray's defense.
"Boooooo! Nothing is worth selling your soul for that stuff!" Me, still not satisfied.
"I think being unemployed, the going rate for my soul is roughly 60 cents per bottle." Onray

"This is like a scene out of Clueless." Rhys, on me and Kelly interacting.

"Omigod. Totally nice, dude–whatever." Rhys, making fun of the way Kelly and I and many Californians talk.

"He does a Pom accent really well for a Yank." Rhys, on Spike from Buffy.

"You'll be tasting that until Sunday." Rhys, to Kelly, on a big garlic clove.

"You can get that, you just have to call it something else." Kel, to Rhys, on his caprichosa pizza (pepperoni, anchovies (optional), onion, mushroom, olive, garlic).

"I don't want you guys to think that's cause I had a few drinks–the curb just came too soon." Kel, making a u-turn in Berkeley one night.

"It's like lolliwater..." Rhys, on drinks like Midori Illusion and Archers.

"That whole soda thing–I'm not into that." Kel the pop girl.

"Chris goes both ways." Me, on, uh... names.

"'Dude' will never take off in Australia–ever!" Rhys

"It's cool if you have your house built by Amish people–they're awesome." Kel

"I couldn't hurt him while we were up there, but after we got off I would." Rhys, on me telling the story of my cousin rocking the ferris wheel when were were on it once.

"Bad news about July 3." Mike A.'s e-mail subject to me.
"Just kidding - good news, i got it off. woo-hoo! :)" Mike A.'s actual e-mail, that teaser!

"I love Hawaii." Me, to Onray
"I was there for a friend's wedding." Onray
"Weddings can be nice. Beach?" Me
"No, Chinese restaurant." Onray

"We went to Todai and ate until we got sick." Onray, on what they did for his girlfriend's birthday.

"Want me to fall and hurt myself? That makes my friend's daughter laugh like crazy." Mike A., trying to cheer me up when I wasn't feeling to hot.

"Neato. I'll have to add you to my stalking list. I mean buddy list." Mike A. upon discovering I also have an AOL IM account.

"You can borrow it or come over and watch it with me. We can drink and cry." Nicki, on ET.

"It's like a good meal you're looking at and then you eat it and think it could have been better." Clayton, on the Buffy finale.

"Am I the only one that sends out actual paper cards?" Eric

"I know cows scare you." Me, to Eric
"Only when you're trespassing on their turf." Eric

"My record is 52 and I had two cell phones at one time." Dad, on his obsessive American Idol voting.

"Dad put in 8 votes in for Clay. He keeps calling in. You can call until midnight." Mom, on Dad voting for the American Idol.
"Now he's up to 14..." Mom, coming back into my room a minute later.
"15... 16.. 21... Blackjack!" Dad, all excited.

"I think it depends on intent and sleaziness and all that kind of stuff." Eric, on the difference between just talking to someone and trying to hit on them.

"I wrote it down last night while I was asleep." Eric, on some dates he saw on TV one night.

"Really just go on a nice night, have a beer and a hot dog, don't get your car towed and it'll be great." Eric's response to which Giant's game we should go to.

"So what's Buffy gonna do now? Give tours of the Grand Canyon?" Nicki, after the Buffy finale.

"What's with that Kobe Bryant stuff? It was at that crepes place too." Chris, on nutella.

"How many people here have nicknames?" Matt (aka Doodle)

"Go, go, go, go, go, go, Go, shorty. It's your birthday... Now that's something I know." Loeby, singing along to the song in a commercial during the Buffy finale.

"You're our virtual Kevin Bacon." Clayton, to me, when I got a bunch of my friends together to watch Buffy.

"We've met before, but you may not have been sober at the time." Lisa, to Chris, referencing my birthday trolley party at the beginning of my Buffy party.
"It was nice seeing you sober." Chris, to Lisa, when she was leaving my Buffy party.

"You better hurry. This isn't the Tivo TV, you know!" Me, on Chris calling a few minutes before the Buffy series finale was to start.
"I know! That why I was going 90!" Chris

"Reporting in for duty." Dad, calling me ready to pick of the pizza for my Buffy party.

"I'm a classy broad." Loeby
"Funny to have 'classy' mixed with 'broad.'" Me
"Yep. That's me... always a dichotomy." Loeby

"Somebody loves you so much they got on IM even though they hate it.... Guess who?" Loeby, trying to make me feel better one day.

"I'll dope up and be lots of fun. Bring the booze. We'll party." Nicki, on me and Kel going over to see her at home with her hurt back.

"I'm pretty shady–it's not even my ID. My name's not even Kelly." Kel, on her Ohio ID.

"I've never lived in a shady place ever. My place isn't shady, is it?" Kel

"I'm just like eat it!" Kel, on < > signs.

"Think of this like the California/Nevada state line. You can gamble on this side, but not on that side." Yed, on one half of the table drinking and one not when we were at Gorden Bierch.

"Ok, let me know if you want me to kill anyone for you." Ryan's parting words on the phone the other day, trying to make me feel better.

"Don't worry–I'll have a worse one so it'll make you feel better about yours." Ryan, on a bad interview.

"That blows. Wanna drink?" Chris' response to finding out about my horrible interview. Of course I had already made plans for that.

"What happened? Break up with Kelly?" Chris' response to me having a horrible day. Wasn't really funny at the height of the teary time, but after the fact, maybe a little.

"I called into work and said I had a flat tire and would be in late." Loeby, on staying home to watch Dawson's Creek. I'm so proud.

"Let's pool our resources." Me and Christie, getting out the cash we had left at the bar for drinks.

"Nice game." Yed, to me, after I put my hand in his back pocket like he did to me when we were out in the city the weekend before.

"Can't I teach you to drink something else?" Me, to Christie, as she always orders Vanilla Stoli Cokes now.

"You're part of my six pack." Rodd, to me, on having 5 of his friends out with him one night.

"It's so cool cause it has two things I'm into combined: life thinking and analysis and Buffy! They use traditional philosophy theories and relate them to Buffy episodes using all the quotes I recognize and everything!" Me, on my crazy "Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Philosophy" book I bought.

"We're trying to figure out what to do tonight, but we'll probably just end up doing each other." Ryan, about him and his girlfriend. Oh, dear.

"It's been 8-9 months–we could have had a baby, I mean time wise." Ryan, about seeing me.

"Man, I miss football so much!" Me, while Eric was checking other sports scores.

"I won't be happy until that guy gets run over by a semi-truck." Eric, about the Niner's John York.
"That's fine by me! Almost enough to make me root for Detroit when they come into town." Me

"Maybe that was the New Orleans version of the Bible." Christiane's Chris, about Eric's claim the Bible encourages drinking.

"I heard there was cake." Me, to Eric's Mom, when I kinda just showed up at the house one night.

"Yeah, it was good, but they put all of that love crap in it..." Me, talking to Eric about the second Matrix movie.

"I will have to pass you over to secondary convincing." Doodle, trying to get me to come to his wine and cheese party one night.
"Get your butt–and the rest of yourself–over here... I have failed. Here's tertiary convincing...." Joseph

"I now have become the quintessential friend wedding date. I guess that's cool when you don't want to real date." Eve

"Well, does it matter that we kinda dated a few times? But I never let him kiss me, so it should be OK." Me, on going to a wedding with Ryan.

"Ooo saw the Matrix last night with my cousin, whose arm is in the movie! Her name is in the credits too! We were excited." Anjali

"Yeah, suck more money from the government–that's the way to live your life! Maybe I'll divorce Dad and go on welfare..." Mom, just being silly.

"When people drink, their tongues become a little looser." James
"And I don't mean 'they start kissing people'... but apparently, that happens too!" James

"We're going to see the Matrix: Reloaded tonight." Eric
"It's pretty good. I saw it last night." Me
"You saw it? You know there are guns in it right? Did you see the first one?" Eric

"I need a freakin nap. Napster." Kel

"Too bad we couldn't eat though..." Kelly, about going to see the Matrix.
"I'll turn you into a super eater yet!!! You just watch!" Me, to Kel
"Oh yeah. It already rubbed off on me!!" Kel

"I'm the queen of animated faces." Nicki

"I have a good drunk filter." Nicki

"You have head and arm, watch it." Chris, on playing hangman.

"Ma-trix is for kids." Chris

"No, I like them all the same (practicing for when I have lots of kids who ask who I like the best)." James, on which quotes he liked.

"Awwwwww mannnnn!!! You are such a tease!!! First Shim Sham and then this??? ;-)" Me, to Yed after he told me he's going to Cold Stone.
"That's fine...once I change jobs I'll have less time for button pushing." Yed, to me.

"Guess, I was part of history, well, kind of ..." Christie, on the Counting Crows Shim Sham show.
"You were part of half of the history... the other half you were outside having a drink ;-)" Mark
"Oooh, that means I get full history–front and center!!!!" Me

"Mike gave me a hug from you Saturday. My, you're pretty strong, Lady!!!" Boston Stacy Lady

"Sunday's usually detox day." Me

"I like sleepovers." Kelly

"Guess where my mom wants to go for Mother's Day? Cheesecake Factory! I'm so glad she's my mom." Me

"The old Yed is back!" Me, when we were out in San Francisco after Kaboom.

"Want an Alabama Slammer?" Me, to Yed.
"I probably shouldn't, I may die, but OK." Yed

"Ooooooooh–call ,call!" Me, to Kel–both of us all excited and wanting to share with one of our friends when "American Girls" started playing at Kaboom. In the excitement I almost missed my favorite smily face fireworks!!! :-o

"Eve, your phone is ringing!" Kelly, to me, when they played Pink's "Get The Party Started" at KFOG Kaboom.

"Switch!" Me, to Kel, while we were taking turns sharing a philly cheesesteak and an Italian sausage at Kaboom.

"Thanks, Melonball." Kel's text message back to me after I told her I was feeling melancholy.

"Omigosh!" Christie freaking out all excited to meet someone our friend is dating.
"Relax, the Counting Crows aren't here." Me, to Christie.
"This is the most exciting thing in 3 weeks!" Christie
"Hey, now that's insulting." Me

"What'd you get?" Me, to Christie, on the drink she had in front of her.
"What you taught me in New Orleans." Christie
"What'd I teach you in New Orleans?" Me
"You taught me a lot of things." Christie

"You gonna show us some Kinderdance moves on the dance floor tonight?" Kyle, to Jo, one night out in Palo Alto.

"I think we were drunk 80% of the time we were in New Orleans." Christie, telling some of our friends abot our recent trip.

"Didn't you get the tongue?" Me, on a text message to Eric, trying to explain that I was kidding with what I said.
"Oh, you're all about tongue now..." Eric

"Being beef jerky without the beef..." Me venting when I wasn't super happy with people one day.

"I'd go to an Engelbert Humperdinck concert to be in that sky box." JohnCline, on getting to be in a box at the San Jose Arena (HP-paq) for an Avril Lavigne concert.

"Hey Mr. Jones." Me, to Mike A.
"Hey Mrs. Potter." Mike's response.

"Holy moly that was a lot of quotes! And May isn't even over yet. Some were a little indecipherable to me, but hey, I can't be privy to all the inside coolness." Clayton

"I can always use some fireworks in my life!" Leslie R., on Kaboom.

"Have a good eve." Nicki, to me
"Hahahahah, I am good..." Me
"Oh I know." Nicki

"Sweet dreams of nice girls, good quality show recordings, and awesome bike rides!" Me signing off IM with Yed for the night.
"Nice." Yed

"15 dollars a ticket to your dance recital? You guys gonna have some topless dancers there or somethin'? Geez, maybe you're serving alcohol... Either way, it sounds like a good time." Dice

"hehe...i just like watching yall argue... (excuse my southern yalls)" C4 from Louisiana, on me and Chris when we were all chatting about the concert in NO we were at.

"Mass communications, sound like what a preacher does on sunday. Done with my bad jokes? Never!" Chris, on one of new friend's majors.

"I drank less and could hardly stay standing." Chris, on Adam of Counting Crows who was completely wasted but singing as great as ever on the Shim Sham stage.

"I think I'm having butter withdrawals since leaving New Orleans." Eric

"I don't know why it still amazes me every time it happens, but when I practice something for a significant amount of time, I actually get better at it!" James

"Like a tivo I couldn't pause." Chris, on one night in NO

"Hey Frenchy!" Me, to Nicki
"Hey Hot Lips!" Nicki to me.

"I need a program manager for my stuff to give me deadlines. Without deadlines, I don't get anything done." Clayton, on his personal projects.
"How much do u pay? ;-)" Me
"Wait until Sat–lotto will be $10mil then. If I win, I pay $300/hr. Otherwise, I'd take you out to the occasional movie." Clayton

"You should TOTALLY be a T.V. professional. You know what they say, Do what you love." Clayton, to me.
"But they are all jerks." Me
"You could be the voice of reason, intellect, love of the program. I know it'd be like working in a sewer, but you would be good at it (talk about your "program" management!)" Clayton

"I just ate a candy bar made by Nestle called 'polly waffle'–the candy bar culture is really totally different here." James, on Australia.

"That's like the patch and I think I'd need to quit cold turkey." Kimi, on taking a break vs breaking up.

"The tour of your house was well worth the price I paid to get in...ya know, just take your shoes off!" Kelly

"You are typing so fast I can't help but hearing the clicks..." Dad, on his computer in the same room as me.

"Did you just say 'freakin message' and 'grrrrrrrrrrr'? Are you channeling me or something?" Me, to Loeby.
"Maybe–you better watch out!" Lisa

"It was like Xmas when you really want a certain present and then you get it." Me, to Dice, on Counting Crows showing up in New Orleans..

"You were like Willow–going on the internet for research." Dice, on me and the secret Counting Crows concert.

"Eve's routine--constantly talking to people. No shortage of friends for her for sure." Mom, making fun of me on the phone a lot.

"I'm adolescent." Dad, on watching American Idol.

"Is that Clay Aiken?" Dad on American Idol, when I was talking to Clayton.

"Hope everyone had a nice flight or drive back from New Orleans yesterday." Me, on her trips with friends to both New Orleans, Louisiana and New Orleans, Palo Alto California.

"I'll listen to ANY story that has 2 girls, tongues and grabbing involved!" Daniel

"It's blinking like crazy–your activities." Dad, on me IMing.

"My stomach, not sars, my stomach." Dad, on not feeling well one day.

"Dear, that was data from when you were sucking your thumb." Dad on my old computer sitting in my room I haven't used in years.

"I wonder if we could squeeze in a dinner–or just go New Orleans style and drink." Eric

"I love Kaboom fireworks–they're better than the 4th of July!" Eric

"All weekend I kept on seeing people who look like Mark–looks like a sign that I should have been in New Orleans." Loeby

"I haven't been drunk with you for a long time–I'm missing out!" Loeby

"You have drunken turrets." Loeby, on me tending to swear a lot when intoxicated.

"Did I tell you that my dad's coming again in August? Try not to bring anything that isn't attached to you." Loeby, on last time when I lost my camera,.:-(

"Every time we talk, she opens by mind–I love it." Reggie, about Theresa B.

"Your biceps are way bigger, by the way." Anjali, to Reggie, mid story

"You're the Buffy pimp." Clayton, on me borrowing people Buffy tapes to people that missed some episodes.

"You haven't seen it yet? Let me tell you everything." Clayton
"Aaaaaahhhh nooooooo!!!!" Me

"Awwww, there's no line–that's no fun." Me, on my Platinum card and the New Orleans airport American line.

"Is your mom getting you at the airport? Yeah right." Chris' text message, on my mom's dislike for providing airport transportation.

"Jean Lafitte..." Christie, reading some tour pamphlet.
"Funny how it's French and rhymes with defeat." Eric

"The administration's favorite paper–it's like a caricature." Eric, on USA Today

"Will Somebody Kill Me Please, Adam Sandler." What Eric wrote on a napkin as a request to follow up the couple on their anniversary dancing to the "Can I Have this Dance for the Rest of My Life" song.

"I feel like Pirates of the Carribean should be right around the corner." Eric, in the Garden District of New Orleans.

"It's like the only little dry zone moving around the city. Quick, take a picture of us not drinking." Eric, on the streetcars in New Orleans.

"How did you feel about it? Were you offended?" Me, to Mark
"It made me feel good." Eric

"OK, don't move." Mark, putting my camera on top of my head to take a picture at night.

"Is there an omelet you haven't asked about yet?" Eric, to Sally (Christie), at Camellia's Grill.

"I guess it's kissing people that have kissed the same people I have." Me

"One of my friends I'm with is a super fan so we got to see this concert that's all hush hush..." Christie, talking to one of her friends about the Counting Crows Shim Sham show.

"We better go before blood comes spilling out of the elevator." Eric, on the Sazerac Grill which he thought looked like something out of the Shining.

"The things everyone did in college, I'm doing now." Me

"I seriously think the cutest I've ever been was in my little league picture." Eric

"That guy radiated insecurity like the sun radiates light." Eric on an "old friend" of mine.

"Maybe someone slipped her something." Mark
"Maybe it was me." Me, joking
"I didn't mean tongue." Mark

"I'm OK. I just need to get some alcohol in me to settle the system." Eric's response to if he needed dinner yet.

"i thanks." Christie's first text message. Note the lack of an "H."

"I think I just got a nicotine rush from my shirt." Mark, on putting on a shirt he wore out a previous night.

"Eric, are you wearing the same short as the night we saw Pabsty cause that may be a problem." Christie

"I wasn't in that hottie room that much." Christie, on the Counting Crows concert.
"Is that what you call the room I was in?" Me ;-)

"Does anyone care if I repeat a shirt? I'm afraid some girl's gonna come up to me and say 'You're really cute, but I remember seeing you in that shirt the other day. We could have had something....'" Eric

"I don't want to kiss girls–I like boys." Christie
"Eve used to like boys–then they did her wrong." Eric. Just for the record, I still like boys, but they are just not worth the drama and heartache to me. So I opt for pure fun. :-)

"Who's the exotic Egyptian princess friend of yours?" Eric, to Christie.

"Tell Mark it's 5 o'clock and I'm just leaving work." Yed, on how very busy he was that day.
"Wow." Mark

"This has been a hung over sort of a day." Eric, to Yed, on Monday.

"Would it be OK if I wanted to put my feet in the Mississippi River?" Christie
"Probably not. But probably not as bad as Bourbon." Me

"We gotta put Mark in the river cause he's dead." Christie

"I know my worth far exceeds rubies." Christie

"The Bible cracks me up." Eric
"There's some good stuff in there." Mark

"Basically the Bible tells us we need to get drunk." Eric's interpretation on a passage he read.
"It doesn't say 'and screw' does it?" Mark

"How many people do you need for an orgy?" Chris, to me, after the tour guide mentioned it in one of her talks.
"I'd say four or more cause three already has a name." Me

"He had the intelligence of a doorstop." Christie, on Joe Millionaire.
"I don't think he was that smart." Mark

"When Eve hangs out with any of my friends, they always end up drunk and I have to deal with it." Chris. Oops--sorry! :-(

"I thought she was gonna sacrifice one of the people in our tour group." Mark, on the Voodoo Priestess we met.
"I would have voted for that Florida guy." Eric

"You're doing that boy thing." Me, to Mark, during a min-argument.

"Is this how it works? Hope leaves and all the sudden you're paying lots of attention to me?" Me, to Eric.

"But I play the right chords." Chris, on playing the air guitar.

"$4 for a hot dog. I think there's a drunken price markup here." Hope, on New Orleans.

"Reason #1637 to not have a boyfriend." Me, on crazy fun nights out in New Orleans.

"Does anyone know how I got the bruise on my knee?" Me, after a night out.
"It could be several things." Eric
"Unidentified drunken injury." Hope

"Here's a little snack for you guys if you want it." Hope, putting a bag on our desk in the hotel room.
"Don't you want it for the plane?" Me, to Hope
"Oh yeah." Hope, taking it back.
"That's what we call an Indian Giver!" Mark

"Can we call James from Mother's? Can we steal a fork for him?" Chris

"Where's Nicki?" Christie
"Not feeling well and resting." Me
"Watching porn." Eric
"Yeah, they have free porn." Me
"How'd they get that?" Hope
"Was it part of their hotel package? We missed out free continental breakfast again!" Christie

"I have my heart at my feet." Voodoo Priestess lady to us sitting on the floor when she found out we were from San Francisco.

"Mark made me grab some random girl's ass cause I thought it was Eve's." Christie

"Maybe it was Eve's kiss of death." Eric, on Nicki not feeling too well one morning.

"Nothing irritates me more than spam." Christie

"When I open my eyes, my head hurts." Hope, the morning after that crazy night.

"We did start it off with a Fuzzie Leprechaun..." Eric, reflecting on a crazy night.

"He wasn't even wearing black last night–I've always seen him in black!" Christie, on Chris.
"That night he was the devil; last night he was the bunny!" Eric. (Note for those who need it: the secret Counting Crows Shim Sham Show is referred to as the Devil and the Bunny Show.)

"When would you like your sandwich delivered to your bed?" Eric, one day when we were all being mellow.

"Guys don't even kiss each other if they win the Superbowl." Eric

"I can't believe I kissed a girl!" Christie, traumatized.

"You got to take it home." Hope, to me.
"I'm gonna take you home!" Me, to Hope.

"Dance friends rule!" Me, to Hope.
"Hey, I can do the back thing!" Mark

"I can't believe Nicki happened to request the only song in the entire world that's guaranteed to make me cry." Me, in the Tropical Isle.

"Chris won't go into the gay bar." Nicki
"I'll go, but we have to hold hands." Me, to Nicki

"It's like TJ for adults." Christie, on Bourbon street.

"It's almost as bad as the shrimps with the heads." Christie, on air guitar.

"Drink, don't talk!" Hope, to me at Lafitte's.

"Unce, twice, twee times a wady..." Mark singing to the piano player at Lafitte's.

"I'm gonna have to buy two CDs–Counting Crows and Black Crowes–just so I don't get confused." Hope

"I can't do that, but I can turn my tongue into a bathtub." Hope, on the knotting cherry stem deal.

"I think I was the hit of the Castro that year." Eric, on wearing a English Bobbie costume for Halloween one year.

"Maybe I'm just more attractive in New Orleans." Me, on guys actually talking to me when we went out.

"I wish every day could be a day like today in New Orleans." Christie
"That's a good quote... for the tourism board!" Me

"Are you sure you're not a stripper? You've got like 100 1s here!" Hope, to me.

"Eve's the side girl." Mark, on me and salad dressing.
"Hey, I don't want to be the side girl!" Me
"You want to be the main entree." Hope

"Lots of guys don't want to wear their wedding rings." Christie
"It hurts the game." Mark

"Mine's off cause we're partying in New Orleans. I married one of my secret friends and had a secret wedding." Eric, on wearing a wedding ring

"It's like bizarro world: Mark's squinty and I'm clean." Eric, after dinner.

"You were the second dirtiest person I've seen tonight." Waiter, to me, at Mr. B's (the place with the messy shrimp).

"I'm not afraid to get down and dirty for my food." Me, on eating shrimp with the shells and heads still on soaked in sauce.
"That's because of your Chinese heritage." Christie

"Seems like it's been a week." Me, on us being in New Orleans for a few days.
"That was many steps ago." Christie
"And many drinks ago." Eric

"I don't even think someone could stick their hand down me." Christie on the tight top she was wearing.
"Well, that's no fun." Eve

"Can I invite you to exit the bathroom?" Mark

"I'm down. You had me at whiskey." Eric, on trying a drink.

"Now I can't even swallow the small pieces." Me, on Mark and Eric acting silly while I was trying to take a pill.
"Because of Cajun Man?" Eric

"I bought them cause it was on mega sale." Eric

"This is hard–like poetry." Me, on text messaging and having a small character limit.
"Like haikus?" Mark

"Hey, we should just go to Subway instead." Mark's comment about going to Mother's.

"All I see is naked people." Mark, looking out the hotel window.
"Hey, that's me!" Mark

"Am I gonna look like that guy from Chips?" Christie, trying on sunglasses.
"What, Jose?" Eric

"I think I went on National Ikea Day." Eric, on his Ikea experience.
"Every day is National Ikea Day." Christie

"Hope is the hush puppie queen." Mark

"Come on Steve, show us how it hurts!" Someone commenting on his 160 daiquiri, thereafter know as EC for everclear.

"Hungry, more grease–anything greasy." Hope

"Mission accomplished." Eric, on really getting to see the secret Counting Crows concert.

"I don't know how I got this." Chris on a mark on his finger.
"Cigarette mark? Maybe it's your you really should stop smoking sign." Me

"You worked at Adobe!? I always wondered what type of people worked at Adobe." Guy from Dallas who stood neat us at the Counting Crows concert.

"If you help me get a cigarette I'll like you even more." Guy from Dallas who I made friends with at the concert who gave up smoking for lent with his girlfriend.
"I'm sorry, I won't help you in that plight." Me

"Rich people are cool." What the random Texas guy I met at the Counting Crows show said when I told him what Chris does.

"This is my friend Eve–her name is a palindrome." Chris, to some people in the front at the concert. Oh, dear, here we go again...

"This is kind of like Miller Blind Date!" Mark, on the Counting Crows Shim Sham concert.

"I know that backyard song." Nicki, telling me which Counting Crows songs she knows after we just got into the stage area after standing in a tunnel to get in.
"Crazy Taxi? I know you like that game!" Me, joking about the "Big Yellow Taxi" song they sing.

"You can't go in there!!!!" Me, to Pabsty, after discovering he didn't know the lead singer's name and only one Counting Crows song.

"You come to a bar and order that crap?!?!" Me, to a random guy in the Counting Crows line that I met who ordered Pabst Blue Ribbon. I thereafter called him Pabsty.

"Hey, I've been nice for two months!" Chris, to me.
"Why only two months!?" 75
"Exactly. I like this girl." Me

"I wasn't going to pay 75 dollars for a hat, so I walked around in my tube top and made the money in 20 minutes." Niki, thereafter nicknamed 75 by me.

"You swear?" Nicki to me.
"Not until recently." Me

"You're like me if I knew Michael Jackson was here." Christie, on me frantically getting ready to go down to see Counting Crows secret Shim Sham show.
"You're like my sister before Bon Jovi." Eric

"Hey, what's up?" Me, returning Chris' call.
"What's up? Get your ass down here!!!! You will never guess who I just saw getting out of the car and come inside!!!!!" Chris, on seeing Adam Duritz at the Shim Sham club in New Orleans.

"Maybe I'll start praying for the first time in my life." Me, on Sat in New Orleans.
"For the Counting Crows showing up or for your soul?" Mark
"Counting Crows. I think my soul's fine." Me

"Without that, we have no hope." Me, on Mark fixing the super low pressure shower head.
"We have Hope." Mark

"I love happy birthday messages from New Orleans–they're the best!" Mers

"Put the ice cube in your ponytail." Nicki, finding creative ways to stay cool while we were melting in the NO heat at Jazz Fest.

"If I'm gonna be in the sun all day, I'm gonna be comfortable–not slutty." Christie

"Being here makes me miss living in the south." Hope, on New Orleans. That was before the crazy hot and humid day at jazz fest.

"That's OK–Eric likes quantity." Me, on people being concerned about leaving Eric the right type of donut.

"There are certain colors white guys can't wear." Eric

"You go have fun. Some guy's just waiting with his wallet in some cool NO club for you." Kelly's text message to me.

"Boobs get faster service at bars." Eric
"Boobs get free drinks." Mark

"The unshaven look is only attractive in theory." Eric

"He's a shopping boy." Me, about Chris.
"Really? But he only wears black." Christie.

"My blood was 100% alcohol that night." Eric on New Year's in New Orleans last year.

"Who would pay $10 at 2am to see a band called Drums and Tuba?" Chris, when we staked out the Shim Sham on Friday night to see in Counting Crows would show.

"Wonder quintuplets, form of a hurricane!" Eric and Mark at Pat Obrien's.

"It's tasting better now." Hope, halfway through her Pat Obrien's hurricane.

"Dude, somebody's head is still on the table." Eric, on the crawfish I was eating at ACME Oyster House.

"It's gonna make me all sexy, I don't know if I want it." Ebs, on oysters.

"It's empty." Eric, on Mark's beer glass.
"That's because you're still drinking yours!" Mark getting feisty.
"Oh, come on! This is what the arbitration procedure is all about!" Eric

"Am I gonna have to fill James' shows since he's not here?" Eric in New Orleans
"No one can fill James' shoes." Me

"It's just rude to talk about shows on cable." Eric, one of our only cableless friends.

"There needs to be some process to go through if you're misquoted." Eric

"When it's not tracking air scuba diving, it's tracking restaurant waiting time." Eric, on his watch.

"Look what floor we're on: fantastic number nine." Eric

"I'll just go to the San Francisco zoo to see the alligators." Christie

"How long did you have to wait? Me, to Hope who met us at the New Orleans airport.
"About one and a half hours." Hope
"Awwwww..." Me and Christie
"I was reading magazines, eating hush puppies, and drinking beer–it was rough." Hope

"Eating pizza in Chicago." Eric's text message to me on the way to New Orleans.

"Eating BBQ in Texas." My text message to Eric on the way to New Orleans.

"If it's just like the thing at Disneyland, I don't need to do it, but if it's more than that..." Christie, on the paddle wheel steamboats in New Orleans.

"I love eating. It's one of my favorite things to do. Eating and drinking." Christie, on the plane to New Orleans with me.
"I think we're gonna get along just fine." Me

"Try to look as tall as you can when you check in. Sometimes they pity tall people. It has happened to me–even a guy gave it to me." Dad, on being upgraded.

"Do they have an executive drop off too?" Dad, about my platinum card.

"Yesterday you looked like a baboon's ass." Dad, on my lame sunburn on my face.
"What? That's good–rosy cheeks. Don't you want me to be like Simon Cowell and tell it like it is?" Dad, after my reaction to his initial comment.

"I don't think we'll take that many pictures." Me, to Mark, about our New Orleans trip.
"Well, depends on how many boobies we see." Mark

"I had enchilada issues." Mers, on being late for dance.

"I read the first page and I didn't get into it." Dad, on trying to read my copy of the first Harry Potter.

"All the sudden the world's a happy place again–don't know how that happened." Me, having a good day.

"Where u go?" Grandma, always expecting to hear travel stories.
"Nowhere since Australia, but I'm going to New Orleans." Me
"Oh, New Orleans, you have the raw oyster. Grandpa and I did." Grandma

"Have a Hurricane (or 2 or 3 or...) for me." Mers

"I'll call adam and tell him to play Sat. He owes me one. ;-)" Mike A.

"I would be soooooooooooooooooo stoked!" Me, on the possibility of seeing a secret Counting Crow concert .
"Stoked? Silly Cali girl." Boston Mike
"It'd be wicked cool. Is that better?" Me

"Eve-Friend-Quotes are like the greatest thing... They're like One-Liners from Friends. Stuff that's just too funny to be written by writers–they just have to come up. Because if you try and make it on there, that detracts from the purity of the quote." Mikey

"I love being a mom, who would have known!! Flors

"If I don't talk to you before you leave have an AWESOME time and don't be a girl gone wild... or you can if you want to ;-)" Anjlai, to me.

"Am I gonna give anything away? Please! I know you." Clayton, on me not seeing Buffy yet and knowing I'm a non-spoiler girl.

"What have you been up to besides touring the world?" Kel, to me.

"I haven't talked to you in forever." Kelly, to me, on IM after not IMing for a few months.
"I haven't talked to you in like forever!" Me, at the exact same time.
"Omigosh. Some things never change!" Me

"I cannot erase the smile off my face today... Get up--share in the glory!" Ecstatic Chris, on getting amazingly awesome Counting Crows tickets. Probably one of the happiest messages I've ever heard. :-) Yeay for the world not always sucking!