"I guess I should hurry up with the MBA so I can get out of here. The idea of getting paid more money to do less is pretty interesting to me." Kevin H.

"I like ham. I just don't like that it's disguised as bacon." Mikey, on Canadian ham.

"If you want lame and pathetic, switch football teams with me... Some of us guys think you're a super gal. Especially for a Niners fan :-)" Mike A.–the only Bengals fan friend I hope to ever have–trying to cheer me up .

"I am so SICK of snow! I am so SICK of cold! Yes, we had 27.5 inches, and we still had to go to work!" Boston Lady Stacy

"I'd say 'I hate the world', but I'm drinking instead." Eric, on a bad day at work.

"Sad to say that Tivo is not yet operational in our household. However, Spence & I have a date tonight to work together on setting the darn thing up." Steph, after buying a Tivo a week ago!

"There may be a firewall I broke down." James, on IMing from his new work.

"It's heaven in cancer form." Doodle, on me asking Joseph why he smokes.

"I was trying to beat you to the okay bye, but you slammed me. You said it too fast and beat me to it." Doodle (I didn't even know we were in a competition.)

"OKay Bye (as Eve would say)." Dad, signing off IM.

"There is a time and place for war, and this is not one of them." Eric

"I don't usually find someone who's as fucked up as me." Loeby, to me, as we're fed up with life and out drinking on a Sunday night.

"That means you're living. If there were no nights we couldn't talk about I'd say you'd better get busy." Loeby

"It takes a really good man to be better than no man at all." Loeby

"In addition to turning you into a drunk that hates men, I'm turning you into someone who swears like a sailor." Loeby, on her influence on me.

"Shopping, eating, or drinking are the only acceptable answers." Loeby, on what we should do together on a Sunday.

"I would not let America pick what I'd have for dinner." Eric's reaction to the "Married by America" show where viewers pick two strangers to marry.

"I could date an Texan." Me
"It's all fun and games until he shoots you." Eric

"Good sobering up tactic, Eric." Me, to Eric, after he got a soda cause he said he had to sober up after several sake bombs, but then a few minutes later took a Jagermeister shot.

"Go even if you can't afford it. Just put it on a credit card–it's the American way." Christie B., on Eric going to grad school and me taking off to Australia.

"I *L*O*V*E* the new Eve!" Daniel, to me, after hearing some of my latest crazy life stories.

"They said you ruled." Eric, on what his friends said after they met me for the first time.
"Really?" Me
"No, but it was implied." Eric

"You can call me in the middle of the night if it's important–it doesn't even have to be important." Me, to James with our new time zone differences.

"James is fun and when he's drunk he's even more fun." My Aunt Diana.

"You are number 1." Grandma, with thumbs up to me just for quickly finishing a puzzle her and my aunt couldn't get all the day before.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to myself, so don't listen. I understand what I'm saying." Dad, to Mom, when she didn't understand something he said.

"What show is that?" Dad, to me, when I was actually talking about friends in my real life.

"We can find out how tomorrow is if we don't like today." Dice, about having James in Australia.

"I went from no guy to two guys. Not a bad deal." Me, on Valentine's Day.
"I went from no girl to a guy and a girl." Mark

"Thanks for all your help EVE-vite master." Daniel, to me. I'm all over Evite and Ofoto!

"No it's not cold, only 20 below. Come visit. We can sit outside and eat frozen tacos." My Aunt Kathy, on the weather in Wisconsin.

"So how's your 'mood rating' today?" Onray, checking up on me.

"There's no such thing as too much Eve." Loeby

"I was so drunk I forgot I did that..." Daniel, on sending me a picture of a Coke machine in downtown OK with his phonecam.

"That's worth a lot to me. This could keep me happy for years." Me, showing off my extra hard drive in my Tivo.
"Yeah, but only up until 150 hours worth." James

"You have a wife waiting for you." James, to Dice, as he was leaving.
"You have a continent waiting for you." Dice, to James.

"He's just being mean to me." Me, jokingly about Eric.
"No, that was subconscious." Eric, trying to defend himself.

"There is a gun in it, but it's not as bad as vampire slaying." Eric, on me being able to see Beautiful Mind.

"You never want to let the lawyers do the math." Christie
"Well, I have a math degreee and I'm a lawyer." James

"Too much useless movie information." Dice, on impressing everyone by being really good at the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game.

"To the best import Australia will ever see." My toast to James at his Bay Area surprise going away dinner.

"You guys suck. You all lied to me." James, on us leading him to believe everyone was busy that night to try and throw a surprise going away dinner for him.

"I'm in position." Eric's text message to me prepping to surprise James.

"It's nice to know that it'll take at least six people to replace me." James, on me warning all of my friends that I may need to talk to them more now that James is moving to Australia.

"Call me later and we can talk about your spazziness." Mers, responding to my earlier voice message.

"I don't think you should put that one up–I say much funnier things." Anjali

"I only think in shot terms these days." Anjali

"Oh, you shouldn't have. But you did and I'm glad." D, on getting a housewarming gift.

"Do you know where the 95 in Windows 95 came from? The year 1995." Mark, on Heidi having that as her OS on her work computer.

"Something about that cake; you just can't stop eating it." Mom

"Thanks for coming." Me, to my friends who went to the Toad concert with me on my birthday.
"Thanks for being born." Eric

"Something's always wrong." Toad, singing one of their songs in concert in SF.
"The story of my life." Me
"I was hoping she wouldn't notice that." Eric

"Thank you for shopping at Eve. Do you say that often?" Loeby

"That's OK. We just get to make fun of you all night. Hi, I'm Lisa." Loeby, to David, who got to my house a bit late.

"Is that for her or him?" Eric, on flavored lip gloss.

"So we can keep you in the mall." Eric, on a gift certificate to Nordstrom's.

"Do you plan to travel again? You really enjoy life." Grandma, to me, after looking at some of my pictures.

"I didn't realize that now I can qualify for the quotes page by things I say online. So cool, it's all modernized now. This is even better than when I learned I could pay my bills online." Onray

"Who's your new coach???? (Whatsisname is now in Detroit)." Dopey, blasphemous CT Ed calling the great Steve Mariucci that!

"Did the police have to pull your trolley over and tell you to keep it down? That's the sign of a good party." Boston Mike

"Yay for me. I was quoted. Now I just need a nickname. I just told the girl I was wedding #9 last year." Leslie, on describing herself to one of my friends.

"This is a worse than a crossword puzzle. It's like a crossword puzzle spread throughout the entire house. How can they figure that out?" Dad, on the remians from the space shuttle.

"I think I need some wine to cure my sickness." Dad, thinking he may have the flu.

"So, I heard that you spent an entire evening drinking and cavorting around town." Kevin H.

"SO much fun. A whirlwind of a time. Minus the too many lemon drops aftermath." Anjali, on the bday party.

"That was fun people saying 'I saw your picture on Eve's website.' And someone asked me what my nickname was." Leslie, on meeting a bunch of my friends at my party.

"Where'd you guys go in Napa?" Me, to Reggie
"Breadcake cellar." Reggie, meaning Cakebread. :-)

"And a Happy New Year (for the Asian still lurking somewhere deep within you yearning to break out .. come on, I know it's in there somewhere)." Onray

"Hope you had tons of fun. Let me know of any cool stories you have from that night's adventure." Javy, on one my friends that couldn't share in the fun.

"Happy Birthday you chili cheese head." Onray, citing one of my new cravings.

"How was your birthday thing? Have you recovered from the hangover yet or should I ask you that in another week? :)" Onray

"It just rocked. :) You really know how to throw a birthday bash." Curls, writing a short note after my trolley birthday party in SF.

"I wanna be a monkey; I was meant to be a monkey." Roho, on the Chinese calendar.

"When we were in Holy Cow, holy shit." Roho, on being super hot wearing her big coat.

"I have more alcohol in my car than in the state of Utah." Eric

"I'm afraid that I'll be too full for tater tots." Roho, after having dinner at Houston's before going to Butter.

"Ignore and you will find peace." My dad's advice to my aunt on dealing with my sometimes overbearing grandfather.

"Are you a lesbian? I can accept that. Whatever you are, I'll love you." Dad, on my just talking to one of my friends that was a girl on the phone.

"When your friends go to Buster Douglas, let me know." Dad, about Dave and Busters.

"I think we are also looking at wedding bands." Klemmster, on his weekend activites.
"What kind do you want?" Me
"I just want lots of bling bling." Klem