"I think I need to go have a drink and shoot things on my playstation." Single T, feeling bummed.

"I spend my money on gun and baby stuff." Clayton's reason for not buying a Tivo.

"If she doesn't send that resume out, I'm going to send it for her." Hope, on Kimi.

"Have you been a dater?" Steph, to me, after not seeing me for a week.

"And X-box live comes out Friday, so this is a huge month." Daniel, on the new 007 movie.

"This place is Eve friendly." Daniel, on Cokemusic.com rooms where swear words are translated to blahs.

"I hate when the TV is off, That's the worst possible thing that could happen in my life!" Mom, such her daughter's mother.

"Quick, find the remote! Turn on the TV!" Mom, after the power came back on after several hours.

"Send it to me. I'll massage it." James, on me being stuck on what to write in an e-mail to of of my friends.

"No, you like to dance that is it's own category. The friends are just the gravey! Dance is like mash potatoes." Ebbers, trying to get two happy thoughts out of friends and dance to cheer me up one day.

"No need thanks, cheers are always free." Onray being nice to me.

"You want to know what happens? I know, I know, you're not a spoiler girl." Clayton, on insider Buffy info.

"This much better than using email –I am the whore for instant gratification." Clayton, on IMing

"It's really good (good in the, "i can't believe i watch this crap," way... :)" Suzy, on teh Bachelor

"It's like a baby in a candy store so much to see and do and lots of time!" Marcus, on being unemployed.

"These commercials are lame–only for dumb jocks and superficial girls." Dad, on the beer commercials during football.

"We don't know anything; just how to eat. " Dad, to the waitress at Bubba Gumps quizzing us on the movie.

"Oh no! I'm already beginning to lose my sense of time and space." Anjali, on not working.

"You better get a tan this time." Heidi, to me, on going back to Hawaii.

"We're the laid off ones!" Anjali, to the security people when the paper badge got the sensor to beep.

"I'd like to take a dip into your MP3 collection." Anjali, to Marcus (the 80s music guy).

"Quiet means it was a good lunch." Marcus, on the way back from a big lunch.

"I hope it's not you. Unless you want to be laid off, then I hope it's you." Ryan, to me the day before layoffs.

"It's like the Harvard of flight schools, but it costs more than Harvard." Ryan, on the flight school he's at in Florida.

"I'm so excited you got me to go to Taco Bell." Mers, to me after dance.

"Trust me Eve, you'll never be a ho... And I say that as quite the authority on hos." Daniel

"So Daniel, I [BEEP]..." Me, talking to Daniel on my cell phone.
"What was that? Did you just censor yourself?" Daniel

"What's that?" Me, on Daniel's car alarm beeping.
"My car... It beeps when I get to close to it... It has intimacy issues!" Daniel

"We drove through a tree! That was the best." On, to me, on his road trip to Oregon.
"On purpose??" Me

"Thank you for speaking tivo-ese." Chris, to me.

"I'm gonna cheat on my hair dresser." Anjali.

"Yeay for weddings!" Kimi, as we were leaving Leslie's wedding.
"Yeay for no more weddings!" Me

"Hey sister! She'll be proud of me." Leslie's brother, dancing with me and Mers.

"Thanks for letting me be silly with you guys." Jeff, to me and Kimi, after dancing super fun at Leslie's wedding.

"I love country music!" Mers, being very bold in publicly stating that. ;-)

"The mean husband that makes me go home." Steph, leaving early from the wedding.

"Don't stop doing girls nights just because she's married." A, to us dance girls, at Leslie's wedding.

"I can't dance sober." Steph, at Leslie's Sun afternoon wedding.

"I just made Eve's website!!!! Do you know how big this is!?!?!" Gilda, very excited.

"Does anyone want to dance with my date? He's available." Gilda
"Can we dance with you?" Me
"Yes, I am also available." Gilda

"I'm the worst eater on the planet." Hope

"Just consider the aisle a love wall." Yed, on me being seated across the aisle from everyone else on the airplane.

"I got three dollar bills!" James, on dancing at the karaoke bar.
"That's great! My sister only got two." Me

"It was a real crowd pleaser." James, on singing "I'm Too Sexy" at a karaoke bar in Palm Springs.

"I think this is the worst car ever made." Eric, on the Camero.

"They don't know they're Chameros." Mark, on our rental cars.

"I'm as dark as night!" Mark, sarcastically talking about his tan.

"We're not gonna be able to get the classy whores in this rental red Camero." Eric, while we're cruising in Waikiki.

"Eric, you wanna be my clean up man?" Jo, trying to get Eric to finish her dinner.

"I'm helping Kris reach high things in the kid's section." Eric, in Macy's.

"I don't know what we see more: ABC Stores or Seibrings." Stopher, on Hawaii.

"I'm done shopping–I cut myself off." Stopher

"She's my purse mama." Stopher, on Jo carrying his stuff in her purse.

"Just as long as you buy me stuff, I'll take care of you two." Stopher, out shopping in Waikiki with the girls.
"We're not your sugar mamas, you know." Jo

"Why am I so full? Yesterday I had everybody's dinner and I wasn't this full." Clean up Eric.

"Dude, this is the best passion orange I've ever had in my life." Yed, walking in downtown Waikiki while carrying his beer in a juice can.

"It's grand central Bob station." Me, when his cell phone keeps on ringing one night.

"As you can tell by my slurring, I'm so far ahead of you." Mark, to José, pre-partying in our hotel room.

"You don't even want to take me on." Eric, about facial hair.

"I'll have a pre-shower drink to get Mark to shut up." Eric

"Can we change Eric's nickname to No Drink Boy?" Santa Barbara Mark, heckling Eric.

"Did you see how fast Eric left his drink?" Mark, to me.
"My drink's empty." Eric
"And you're proud of that?!?" Mark

"I like how they give you a dolop of ice cream." Eric

"Shave ice rules!" Me, after eating some in the North Shore of Oahu.

"I love that word–poke." Stopher

"Hopefully José can chill his Portuguese sausage." Eric

"Don't look now, but there's a red Camero following you." Eric, to Mark.

"I'll have to try that since that's what she wants." Eric, on the HLS (Hawaiian Leg Spreader) drink our waitress at Duke's suggested.

"Cause you're so sweet." Classic Yed

"Top down, bitch!" Yed, to Mark, before we get into out convertible.

"We're very simple creatures, that's all it takes." Stopher, on girls coming out of a swimming pool in movies.

"I had Spam yesterday, so I'm good." Jo, in Honolulu

"Hey, Red Camero!" Valet guy, to Mark, at our hotel in Oahu.

"Alright, I'm getting full." Eric, at the authentic Hawaiian place.
"Words I never thought I'd hear." Yed

"I like it when a girl warns you that she's in a bad mood. So if she bites your head off I can just get another head and not worry about it." Eric, being supportive of girls.

"Ah, aaaah!" Singing to the wailing part of "Sweet Dreams."
"That was good, Jo." Bob.
"That was me." Kris

"I have to go hide in my car before I get eaten alive by mosquitoes." Bob

"I love the smell of cigars." Ingrid
"I married the right woman." Dice, in a cigar bar.

"You should get married every year!" Mark, to Cindy.

"Pretty much I empty my wallet and we're fine." Dice, to Ingrid, on paying for dinner at Roy's.

"You've only been a McGinley for a week and you get the potato!?" Dice, to Ingrid at dinner.

"That stuff's like viagra." Stopher, on bread.

"Giants are going to the World Series!!!!" Yed's greeting when we got back to the condo.

"Forget the blow hole, there's shopping!" Jo, at a Kauai attraction.

"Jo, I'll buy you a new outfit if you know who sings this song." Stopher, to Jo. Jo couldn't answer.
"That's what I thought." Stopher

"I love that car." Bob, on the Sebring. (I know it's in here twice, but he really loved the car.)

"You guys were taking advantage of the open bar." Jo
"Well, somebody had to, no one else at the table way!" Yed

"That's so GH." Another term of the trip.

"I need something a little fruity." Eric

"Oh no! You're from CA too!" Eric, on his Kona coffee liquor.

"They're not twins? They aren't boyfriend and girlfriend are they?" Random lady about Jo and Kris.

"Ahhh, they're so cute! Bye twins!" Random lady to Jo and Kris.

"This is from Eric." Ebs, trying to give me money for his birthday meal.
"I already got money from him, but nice try." Me

"Aw, this is exquisite." Stoph, on our desserts at the Beach House restaurant.

"Bread is one of the great joys of life." Eric

"We're having a moment, we're watching the sunset." Me, to Dad when he called.
"Oh, OK, talk to you later," Dad

"There's never been a better place to lose your clothes; leaves are always nearby." Eric.

"How did spam get so popular on an island inhabited by chickens?" Eric.
"Well, Spam originated..." Ebs, starting his Spam knowledge stories again.

"Can you roll down the window so I can get out?" Eric, in the backseat of our convertible.

"GPS can change the definition of backseat driving." Ebs

"Look, children of the corn, except it's not corn." Mark, on the tall plants on the side of the road.

"Do you know what this place seems like–this is gonna sound weird–Mars." Ebs, on Kauai.

"I love that car." Bob, on the Sebring.

"What are we, in bizarro world or something?" Yed, on me getting up at 8am.

"Dude, this is a pure, sacred space." Cindy, to Yed lying in their wedding bed."
"I'll make it sacred!" Mark

"Do we need to untie you?" Jo, to Cindy.
"It's OK, I'll let Joseph have the honors." Cindy

"Yeay! It's over, time to party! My relatives all leave tomorrow!" Cindy

"Get me out of this dress!" Cindy, entering her room after the reception.

"It feels good to be flat again." Jo, after taking off her bridesmaid dress.

"You haven't seen the best part." Jo, on Cindy's hotel room.
"Wasn't the best part your boob?" Eric

"It's Oahu and Molokai?" Bob
"What?" Me
"Hello and thank you." Bob
"Those are islands! And you're driving us home?" Me

"You rule. You rock. We're so fun. I hate everyone. Dude." Words of the trip borrowed from Steph and her friends.

"It's like the paparazzi in here!" People at the wedding.

"Geez, my hand was getting tired." Mark, on clinging on his glass to get Cindy and Joseph to kiss.
"No comment." Me

"These are a few things we did to help grow Cindy." Mark, on their high school antics.
"I totally see that." Joseph

"Did you hear about the fiasco?" Ewric, to Ebs, on Stopher sneaking virgin drinks.

"Are you sure you want to order him that cause he's been ordering virgins all night." Bob, paraphrasing what the waitress said to Eric about Stopher.
"The waitress sold you out!" Me, to Stopher

"That hit the spot." Stopher, on the guy singing the Lady in Red song.

"I haven't heard musical entertainment this awesome since SideLines." Me, about the Hawaiian guitarist/singer at Cindy's wedding.

"I'm gonna hit the Yed, I mean the head." Stopher

"Sweet Pea, do you want my cherry?" Me, to Ebs who gave me an empty look.
"There's no hidden meaning! Do you want it?" Me

"Nobody can ever serve a meal like Natasha, though." Eric, about our waitress on the cruise.

"Eric, when are you going to start taking on the hard stuff?" Jo

"You can take shots or whatever." Cindy, to us at the wedding.

"I have to make up for today cause today was not so fun." Stopher

"Are you and tequila friends?" Bob, to Eric.
"No, but we're getting close again." Eric

"I love that guy, that guy rules. He could be the next American Idol." Me
"For sure." Stopher, agreeing.

"Kris, is that a virgin?" Bob.
"This or this?" Stopher, pointing to his drink and then Jo.

"No tilt." Mark, right before a big group wedding picture was taken.

"Are the boys all dressed and ready?" Cindy, to me while she was getting ready for her wedding.
"Yeah." Me
"I hate boys!" Cindy

"Honey, there are people." Cindy, to Joseph, when he answered the door without his shirt on.

"There's an open bar." Joseph, sharing his knowledge about the wedding.

"Nice. Nothing like the BL in Hawaii." Mark, on Bud Lite being served poolside at Princeville.
"Don't you think that's a little wrong?" Me
"Yeah." Mark

"What do you want to do in your last few hours as a single man?" Me, to Joseph a few hours before his wedding.
"Bachelor party?" Joseph

"What should we do now? Me, to Joseph when Cindy was in the salon getting ready for their wedding.
Let's go have a drink and have fun." Joseph

"Where are my boobs?" Jo, getting ready for the wedding.

"How'd we get down 4 to 1? That's no fun." Me, on the Giant's game.
"That's why we're going to the beach." Yed

"We can have a suck session when we get home." Ebs, to me.
"You promise?" Me

"Why don't you call me every time you're on the beach, drinking Mai Tais or lying in the sun instead when you're in the fog, that would make me feel better!" Sarcastic James.

"And don't hold your breath." Yed, after Ebs recited the rules of the ocean.
"Oh, wait, that's scuba diving." Yed

"The number of Jesus pictures per square foot was mind boggling." Eric, on some girl in Utah.

"He's phat enough pimp for that." Eric, on James' chances of randomly coming to meet us in Hawaii.

"But there's more. There's an island full of them!" Eric, on hapa women.

"I was seriously miscalculating the need for sobriety." Eric, on drinking before the plane.

"I think I'd feel better rowing over." Eric, on the seat space on the Aloha Air hopper flight to Kauai.

"Amateur traveller." Bob, to Stoph who didn't have his ID ready when boarding the plane.

"I don't drink, I smoke." Little innocent Jo

"I diagnose that this is a classic case of phantom grabbage." Eric, on being accused of copping a feel during a photo.

"Man, we could have had another drink. Now there's nothing left to do but grab some boobs." Eric

"There's a gas tax. If Yed rips one he pays us $5." Bob

"I'm just bummed I've been here an hour and not been leid yet." Eric, in the Honolulu airport.

"The cool side of the table's drinking Blue Hawaiis and the other is drinking Mai Tais." Me, at the bar when we just got to the Honolulu airport.

"Once again, Sex in the City as an example: those girls have tons of fun both with or without boys! And with new shoes and purses." Steph

"You're Asian!" Onray, on me being scared to go to a Karaoke place.
"But only half!" Me
"That's more than most people!" On

"All I can say is it must have been the wine." Dad, on taking me to not so good dinner that he highly recommended from the last time he was there.

"We're early so I should slow down and get lost a little bit." Dad, on the way to our dinner reservation.

"I kept on thinking someone was drinking my wine cause my glass was always empty and then I realized it was me." Mark, reflecting on the night of Dice's wedding

"Wine logic, isn't it great?" Jessica, on giving me her boyfriend's e-mail address instead of her own the night of the wedding.

"We went from seats that were so sweet to seats that smell like feet." Mark, on our Charger/Niner seats this year vs. the last time.

"They all got back. I was worried the boat was gonna tip over." Eric, on the crowd on my birthday cruise.

"I don't like talking." Eric

"Why does Matt walk so much?" Mark

"They're mores." Eric, on male hos.

"I hate you all." Me, to all the boys in my room.

"I'm drinking red. That's the opposite of white." Chris H., on wine.

"I don't know if I have any friends cute enough for you. Cause you're so cute!" Jessica

"Usually I have to pay for stuff like this." Coach, on me dancing in front of him at Dice's wedding.

"We're being oppressed." Bob, on being picked almost last to go for the dinner buffet.

"It's like Dim Sum." Bob, on being passed over by the hors de vours lady at the cocktail portion before the reception at Dice's wedding.

"You'll see an attractive man walking down the street. I'll be right behind him." Matt S., trying to explain to us where he was walking trying to get from the BART station to the hotel.

"Last time I wore a tux was my senior prom!" James, getting ready for the wedding.

"Hello cute sir." Coressa, to Coach.

"As a drunk person, I'm a great conversationalist." James

"At what point do you want me to tell you that we're lost?" James, coming back from Jack in the Box in the East Bay at 3am.

"Holy cow! It's the end of TV as we know it." James, bursting into the REM song after the TV sign off late at night/early morning. He followed this by sitting in front of the TV snow freakishly like in Poltergeist.

"James, we need to find a sports bar on Sunday. I can go for the sports and you can go for the bar." Me, to James.

"They're fun cause they hate their parents, but they love their teachers." Coressa, about teaching Jr. High kids.

"Is James hitting on my mom?" Dice

"You're beautiful." James, to me.
"You're insane." Me, to James.

"This is a bad table. I gotta move on." Dice's Dad, to our table at the rehearsal dinner.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare your dad away." James, to Dice.

"Hey, do you have any money? I gave my last 20 to Dice and I want to tip the bartender." James, on a nonsensical bet with himself.

"What's your last name?" Me, to Ingrid the night before her wedding
"McGinley, I'm starting early."

"James, it's milk." Coressa, taunting James at Dice's rehearsal dinner.

"I think that's a once in a lifetime occurrence." James, on moo-ing.
"Well, maybe I can make you bark. I just wanna see you on your hands and knees." Coressa, a married woman.

"Can somebody tell me what sense it makes to have five freeways in the same area end with 80?" SoCal James.

"Dude, we were partying in the garage." Steph, about me saying her wedding was beautiful.